Beyond The Class: From Knowledge To Action

003-What Is Your Behavior Telling You? - The Science Behind Your Needs

• Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities • Season 2 • Episode 3

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Ever snapped at someone and instantly thought, “Wait… what just happened?” That split-second of self-awareness might hold the key to transforming how we lead, connect, and communicate.

In this episode of Beyond the Class, we’re joined by Misty Janks—CEO of the Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities and a leading voice in organizational psychology. Misty unpacks a deceptively simple idea: every behavior is a clue to an unmet need.

What if that “difficult” colleague isn’t defiant, but just needs to feel secure? What if that unmotivated team member is actually craving purpose? Misty demonstrates how shifting from judgment to curiosity can unlock empathy, enhance relationships, and even transform workplace culture.

You’ll walk away with practical tools—including two powerful questions that can change how you respond to challenging behavior—and a deeper understanding of how self-awareness and DISC assessments can guide personal growth.

Plus, Misty and host Adam Salgat share candid stories that bring these insights to life.

Subscribe to Beyond the Class for more insights rooted in Chapman Foundation principles. Visit chapmancommunities.org to learn more. Remember—you are the message!

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Key Points Discussed in the Episode 
• Every action, reaction, and decision stems from an underlying need
• Psychology confirms behavior is purposeful, not random or purely oppositional
• Instead of labeling behavior as good/bad, ask what need it expresses
• Two key questions to ask: What might this person need? How can I support constructively?
• Leaders create stronger teams by understanding people, not just managing tasks
• DISC assessments help teams understand behavioral tendencies and style preferences
• Self-awareness allows us to recognize our own needs driving our behaviors
• Three action steps: shift to curiosity, lead with empathy, reflect on your own needs

Misty Janks:

These steps don't just improve interactions. They laid the groundwork for cultural transformation.

Adam Salgat:

Welcome to Beyond the Class From Knowledge to Action, the audio cast that helps Chapman Foundation alumni continue the journey of applying the skills they've built and turning them into practical, intentional actions for everyday life. And turning them into practical, intentional actions for everyday life. Every action tells a story, and how often do we see a behavior and jump to conclusions. But what if, instead of instantly reacting and creating judgments, we paused and asked ourselves why is this happening? What's at the root of this action? Today's episode is titled From Reacting to Understanding the Impact of Behavioral Awareness. Making time to take a deeper look at behavior can shift the way that you see the world around you. To help break this down, I'm thrilled to have Misty Jenks with us. Misty is the CEO of the Chapman Foundation for Caring Communities. She is also a thought leader and organizational psychologist who's passionate about unleashing the power and potential of individuals and organizations. Misty, welcome to the show.

Misty Janks:

Thank you, Adam. I'm super excited to be here and explore this topic together.

Adam Salgat:

All right, Misty. Your blog, titled Am I Behaving Like this, starts with a bold claim that every action, reaction and decision stems from an underlying need. To me, that's a fascinating perspective. Can you break down where this belief comes from, and is there any science that backs this up?

Misty Janks:

Across disciplines. Psychology consistently affirms that human behavior is not random or purely oppositional. It is purposeful and need-driven. A couple of examples here are from nonviolent communication, and this is built on the principle that all behavior is an attempt to meet a universal human need. It refrains judgment and actions not as good or bad, but as expressions of need that may or may not be met skillfully. The second one that I would mention comes from behavioral psychology, and that's the functional behavioral analysis, where, from a behavioralist lens, every behavior serves as a function. It is to help us gain something that we need. So every behavior is an expression of need is strongly supported across psychological disciplines. Recognizing behavior through the lens of unmet needs fosters empathy, connection and more effective support strategies in the workplace, schools and our communities.

Adam Salgat:

So the idea that we should see behavior not as good or bad but as a window into an unmet need is interesting and pretty intriguing to me. Can you help us understand that idea with some examples?

Misty Janks:

Certainly. Here's a couple of examples that can help us really have this concept come to life for us. So first, when someone seems unmotivated at work, it might not mean that they're lazy. They might be searching for meaningful work or craving attention. But all two times we jumped to judging that behavior. First Another example maybe a team member who frequently interrupts, maybe expressing a need to be heard or valued. Maybe they feel like they're not being seen in that meeting or have that opportunity to really have what they're trying to say be heard. A third example is when a colleague sees this change, they might be trying to fulfill their need for security or trust or a little bit of control.

Adam Salgat:

I'd like to jump in right and say, as a higher S tendency, I need for stability causes me to not resist change but bring change about slowly, and that's an identifying factor for myself, that in the last probably two to three years I've really started to realize and become okay with, and so that way I know now it might take me time and I know that I'm going to get there, but even that realization also helps me move a little faster sometimes to say, okay, you're moving a little slow and you know why. How can you move this long? Because people might be waiting on me to move a little faster.

Misty Janks:

What I love about that story, adam, is you are taking awareness to action, so you are using some of those skills that we learn in the classes that we teach, like DISC and understanding. Okay, if I'm this tendency, I have these needs and my overextensions look like this, and so when I start to see that behavior surface for myself, I can pause and be like where's this coming from? What do I actually need and how do I make the best decision for myself in this moment with that information?

Adam Salgat:

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm being very blunt and honest. It's not always the easiest, but that's why we're here learning some of these skills, right?

Misty Janks:

Absolutely. When we look beyond the surface of behavior and approach it with curiosity, we start uncovering the needs that drive it.

Adam Salgat:

I do love that mindset shift into curiosity and trying not to label behavior as immediately good or bad. Right, and one of the most thought provoking segments I thought in your blog is about making that mindset shift. What more can you add to that?

Misty Janks:

shift. What more can you add to that? Mindset shifts can be difficult and asking you to see the behavior and not judge can be easier said than done, especially when that behavior angers or annoys us. But I encourage our listeners to pause and ask themselves two key questions when faced with challenging behavior. These questions are simple but very effective when applied intentionally. The first question what might this person need right now? And the second how can I support that need in a constructive way? This is about leading and responding with intention. It's about addressing the core issue, not just reacting to the symptom, and it's important to recognize. This doesn't mean excusing poor behavior. Instead, this is about understanding, responding with empathy and clarity and addressing the behavior.

Adam Salgat:

Before we talk about that empathy you just mentioned in there in question number two, you specifically stated it as responding to that need in a constructive way. Can you expand on that?

Misty Janks:

Yes. So the example that I would use here is if you have a coworker coming to you and they are visibly upset about something and you can see that, so they have a need to kind of vent that emotion around an issue, you helping in a constructive way is not going to be adding to that fire, right and be like oh and start gossiping or venting or whatever it is and piling on. Instead it will be to listen reflectively, respond and help them vent all of that emotion so they can get back to that balanced state to be able to make better decisions.

Adam Salgat:

So helping in a constructive way, I also think it reminds me of not taking on other problems in a situation like that. Right, so it also can be constructive for them and not destructive for yourself. Right that you're not taking on more than you might need in the situation.

Misty Janks:

Absolutely Always letting the problem owner keep that problem. You're just there to be that sounding board.

Adam Salgat:

Towards the end of the statement there you mentioned about responding with empathy and I love the reminder as we talk about our empathetic listening skills often and that's our foundation in our community listens.

Adam Salgat:

But I tell you, man, responding with empathy with three kids under 10 sometimes is really hard. And to stay curious in moments when they're rebelling against just the simplest things, like getting ready for school and they don't want to get their socks on, and man, it's just like just put your socks on. I don't need to know why you don't want to put your socks on, we need to go. But that curiosity is hard and it's much easier to, you know, go to that space of judgment. But I think it would be healthy if I took that time sometimes to say are they acting this way because they're worried about a test or are they worried about recess? Are they worried about other things that maybe they've brought up, that I've not made that connection, other things that maybe they've brought up that I've not made that connection, even when that's difficult, why is that curiosity important? Why does curiosity matter in our relationships and workplaces.

Misty Janks:

When we stay curious, we can do several things. First, we can build trust by responding to needs rather than judging actions. Second, we can create a culture of learning by encouraging open conversations about what's going on. Third, we can strengthen connections by showing empathy and understanding. And finally, we can increase engagement by aligning activities with what genuinely matters to people. Shifting from judgment to curiosity isn't just helpful. It can make a lasting impact on how we lead and connect isn't just helpful.

Adam Salgat:

it can make a lasting impact on how we lead and connect man. Those are great reminders to keep in mind when I need to connect with my girls in the morning. Maybe you know, maybe they're just tired, so I'll keep that in mind, but you mentioned there about how we lead, right. So, speaking of leadership, your blog continues on and it highlights how this shift in perspective can be especially empowering for leaders. Can you expand on why understanding the needs behind the behavior is so critical for leaders?

Misty Janks:

Of course. First, leaders aren't just managing tasks, they're working to understand people, recognizing behavior as communication fosters trust and strengthens team dynamics, and this approach helps create cultures of learning where people can grow and dialogue is valued. When leaders take this approach, they create environments where individuals feel heard, valued and empowered to contribute.

Adam Salgat:

Your first bullet point. There, leaders are not just managing tasks, they're working to understand people. Again, we say this, and it's easier said than done. Right, what are some other tools that help leaders understand people?

Misty Janks:

First, I would say that the initial step in knowing others better is to first know ourselves well. There are many ways that we can do this and there's lots of tools to help us understand and know ourselves and others better. Tools like values exploration, understanding what is shaping you and your experiences and your mindsets that ultimately are driving your behaviors. There's StrengthsFinder, which helps us build on an individual's natural talents. There's also DISC that we've already mentioned, which measures behavioral tendencies and really helps us know what are our needs, what are our fears, what are our overextensions that can show up. There's also emotional intelligence, which focuses in on self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy and relationship management. There's a huge component in our community, serves curriculum for that, and then skills like listening and empathy can also help. Our organization does offer a half-day disc program if anyone is interested in participating.

Adam Salgat:

So that half-day disc program could be a couple things right. If you've already taken our classes and you're an alumni listening, you know that half-day DISC could be a refresher. But I think it would also be a potential door opener for new staff members who maybe haven't taken listens or anything else. Have you seen that utilized for organizations and what do you normally see by the end of that?

Misty Janks:

Yes. So, just like you said, you have the opportunity to take the DISC component in our community listens or you could do a standalone dedicated session and then, after your team completes that initial DISC training, we also have what we call DISC in teams, and so this takes a deep dive and we shift the lens from just being about us to being about our full team. And how do we see all of these tendencies showing up? Where are our strengths? Where are our blind spots? How can we collaborate together? So you get a big disc diamond and everyone is charted up on that diamond and with that you get to more understanding. I now know how to style flex to you. I now know why maybe you only respond to me in short bullet points. It's not that you're mad or upset, you're just direct.

Adam Salgat:

Yeah, I think that's great. I oftentimes, in lots of conversations that I've had with organizations and I talk to multiple people within the organization I hear them talking about how they utilize DISC. Often I know it's a great tool. So we've talked about recognizing others' behaviors and we've talked a bit about recognizing our own. How can we start reflecting on understanding the needs of our own actions?

Misty Janks:

Great question, adam. This really starts with self-awareness. It is important to first have the awareness and curiosity about your own behavior and then pause. This will give you the time to reflect and ask yourself why am I acting this way or having this response? What is driving this behavior for me? Is it tied to a value or a belief I hold? And when you can pause and identify your own needs, you can increase your emotional intelligence and act in a mindful and productive way.

Adam Salgat:

So if we do that and we identify our needs, is it fair to, I don't know, at times when we feel like it might be appropriate to you know straight up, tell others what our needs are.

Misty Janks:

Yes, please. This will help you get your needs met more effectively and efficiently. Most of the time, people just are not aware what's really driving that behavior. So if you already know, that's the most efficient way to get your needs met.

Adam Salgat:

I do think about that coming up a little more often in personal relationships, maybe in you know significant other situations where you may be expecting your significant other to know what you want for X, holiday or whatever. But I think at times it's very loving to say, well, you know what, I don't necessarily need something, I want time, or I want such and such, or I'm just looking for this type of connection.

Misty Janks:

Yes, the example that comes up for me happened over our dinner table last night. My husband was being kind and asked me hey, did you finish what you needed to on your dissertation, or did you finish your dissertation? And I was like stop asking me that question, I'm not going to be done for a year. And like I snapped back and I was like, oh, why did I do that? I was feeling stressed. I have my first chapter due by Sunday and it's not done yet. And so that realization in the moment I was like ooh, and I thought to myself what is happening? I'm like I'm stressed because of the timeline. And then I said it is going to take me a year to finish this. Can you please start adjusting your questions to be did you finish what you needed to today? Because then I don't feel as overwhelmed.

Adam Salgat:

And if he takes that in and I bet he does and that kind of helps then the two of you shift and create expectations to communicate.

Misty Janks:

Yes, and I won't be so snappy.

Adam Salgat:

Yeah, and in time, as you start to execute things, that's also going to help, and that's something you know about yourself too. All right, misty, as we wrap up our conversation, we've covered a lot, so I'm going to ask you to do your best to summarize and provide our listeners with some clear steps that they can take. What actionable takeaways would you suggest to help them start applying these ideas right away?

Misty Janks:

All right, here are the three key steps that anyone can implement. First is to shift from judgment to curiosity. When someone's behavior challenges you, pause and ask what need might they be expressing to me right now? Number two is to lead with empathy and emotional awareness. Respond with intention rather than reacting. Seek to understand before trying to fix the situation. And then, finally, number three, reflect on your own needs. Remember that your behavior also tells a story. Take time to ask yourself what is driving this behavior. For me, these steps don't just improve interactions. They laid the groundwork for cultural transformation, whether that's in a workplace or personal relationship.

Adam Salgat:

Thank you, Misty, for walking us through this insightful and actionable framework. Your perspective that every behavior tells a story gives us all a lot to think about.

Misty Janks:

Thank you so much for having me on, Adam. It's always great to speak with you and our listeners.

Adam Salgat:

For our listeners. If you want to learn more and explore how to bring this understanding into your organization, visit chapmancommunitiesorg. You'll find resources, tools and opportunities to partner with Misty and our team. And don't forget to subscribe to Beyond the Class so you stay up to date with morey and our team. And don't forget to subscribe to Beyond the Class so you stay up to date with more thought-provoking episodes, just like this one. Until next time, I'm Adam Salgett, inviting you to walk your path with intention, because you are the message. Take care, my friends.